Night in, Night out
by AllTimeNatalie
Summary: Things were different. They were arguing, he was drinking, he was receiving the intoxicated blows that followed night in, night out. Dedicated to Xx.ElectroxxHeart.xX :D Angsty Howince


DISCLAIMER: Don't own Boosh, never will (CRY) it belongs to the wonderful minds of Noel and Julian. :D

SUMMARY: Things were different. They were arguing, he was drinking, he was receiving the intoxicated blows that followed night in, night out.

A/N: Dedicated to .xX who inspired this story with her chapter of 'Make Music not Hate'. Enjoy :) xxx

TITLE: Night in, Night out.

There's an uneasy silence in the room between Vince and Howard. Howard gazes down from the doorway and smiles. Fond memories of when they first met runs through his head. His mind casts back and he smiles.

"_Hi there, I'm Howard." A small jazzy Northerner muttered as he approached Vince. Vince smiled fondly and began to walk to him. _

"_Hi, I'm Vince. I'm from London. What's it like here in Leeds?" Vince asked and fiddled with his hair. _

"_A bit boring but I can give you a tour if you like with my mum." A seven year old Howard pointed to a tall woman as Vince nodded. _

"_Yeah, cheers… Howard was it?" Howard nodded and took Vince's hand. _

"_Yeah, come on." _

That was then… this was now. Bringing his cigarette to his lips, Howard inhales another drag and turns to be in complete darkness in his bedroom. When he's inside, he locks the door and sits on his bed, still in complete darkness. The argument… it was horrible. He was way out of order and he's never seen Vince cry so much.

"_Howard, I never said that!" Vince screamed and threw his bag onto the bed. _

"_But it was implied. I thought you loved me." Vince nodded and tried his best to give Howard a reassuring peck on the cheek but the jazzy Northerner pushed him away and pinned him against the wall. "You never loved me! You used me Vince. If you loved me then why were you with that bitch in the bar?" Vince was speechless, like a steel knife had been shoved down his throat. _

"_I… I do love you Howard." He wheezed as Howard cut off his breath by pushing him harder against the wall. _

"_Liar! You're a liar, a useless, manipulative, using slag!" Howard screamed and threw Vince to the floor and scratched his arm. Vince clawed at him and managed to stand. _

"_I mean it Howard, I love you." With that, Vince disappeared out of the window and into the cold breeze. Howard fell onto the floor and curled up, floods of tears in his eyes. How could he? _

And that's how he is now. That's how he's been the past four nights when he tries to sleep. He can't sleep. He knows his lover is in the room next door with his arm in a bandage and five stitches in his head because of him. He just can't keep his temper down.

"I feel so ashamed." Howard mutters brokenly and pulls the duvet over him. The blood is still in the carpet, marking one of their more brutal battles. Several times has Vince said he'll leave him but he can't because when he says he loves Howard, he means it. Howard had stood there night before and watched Vince as he lit a cigarette and burned himself again 'by accident' and he had seen the lack of hurt in his eyes. He knows inside that Vince has felt worse pain, he's had his heart broken along with an arm and a jaw.

Vince's temper is just as bad through. Howard reminds himself and thinks back to the battle he started.

"_You're mental. You think I'd cheat on you? What the hell Howard?" Vince threw a blow to Howard's chest and sent him backwards. "Why would I cheat on the one I love? You're insane! Who do you think you are?" Vince screeched and scrapped a hand along Howard's arm. _

He still had the mark on his arm where the skin hadn't fully grown back. It isn't always like this. Sometimes it good and when it's going good, it's going great. They sit and talk for hours and then Howard will take him in his arms and place a kiss on his lips and Vince is reminded why he loves him. Other times, he'll take Vince into his arms and throw him to the floor and Vince wonders why he loves him. Howard's afraid though. He's lost him once before.

"_Where you going?" Howard asked Vince, tears in his eyes. _

"_Naboo's. I can't take it Howard. You take it too far and now you've pushed me too far. Goodbye Howard, I love you."_

"_Wait, Vince, it wasn't you, baby it was me. Come on, I need you. I know I'm a liar." He answered and watched Vince walk out the door._

He was gone for a month. He had vowed to change but it just never happened. When he puts his hands on Vince, he loses control, he's a different person. He can't help it. He hates it and he cries when no one can see him. He loved Vince so much. They used to get chills every time they saw each other, they couldn't wait to hang out but now, now he's sick of seeing Vince. He's sick of the same things every day. It just doesn't change… he doesn't change… he can't change.

Howard can't help the lies that escape. He tells him he can change, he can stop the drink and next time he'll aim his fist at the wall. That there won't be a next time and he apologises even though he knows it's lies. He can't stop the lies, they just happen and when they do, Vince falls for them every time.

He doesn't want to fall for them… fall for him but he just loves the way Howard lies.

No matter what he does, he'll run back to him and take him in his arms and say 'I'm so sorry. Please forgive me!' and Vince always does.

Howard's lying in his bed when Vince knocks on the door and creeps in.

"Howard? Did I wake you?" Howard shakes his head and Vince nods and curls up beside him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that stuff and I think we both said stuff we didn't mean. The truth is that I love you way too much to let you go." Howard sits up and lets Vince curl into his arms.

"I love you too. I'm sorry especially for what I said. You aren't a slag, don't ever think you're one. I promise Vince, and this time I mean it, I **will **change. I'll get help for us both, we can be happy. We can move away." Vince smiles and nods

"I'd like that." Vince leans up and tenderly kisses Howard. This is the Howard he knows… the Howard he loves.

**A/N: Well, I hope you like it. Especially you .xX. Hope it was almost as good as yours. :D **


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